Sorry, But I Just Don’t Get The Patek Philippe Hype And May Never Will

There's no doubt Patek Philippe is the ultimate grail watch, but what if they don't give you fizzy knickers?

I’ve been in this game long enough to know when hype overtakes reason, or am I tripping balls?

Luxury watches are no different. There are brands that make you fall in love with the detail, the design, the sheer craft of it all. Then there’s Patek Philippe, a brand that, for me, has always felt just a little too untouchable, too inflated, and too wrapped up in its own myth.

Now, before the mob starts lighting torches, let me clarify. I don’t hate Patek. I respect what they do. I’ve been to the museum in Geneva and I’ll admit it’s impressive. It’s like walking through the Louvre for horology, endless rows of heritage, invention, and artistry.

Inside the Patek Philippe Museum in Geneva

But here’s the thing: I’ve never been swept away by the brand.

Unlike with Lange, Vacheron, or even Parmigiani, there hasn’t been that moment of emotional connection. And part of me thinks that’s because I’ve never been invited inside the club.

I’ve covered Watches & Wonders for years now, but Patek has never extended the courtesy of an invite. That’s not me sulking, by the way. It actually gives me a kind of distance. I’m not part of the echo chamber. I can see the circus for what it is.

Only the very fortunate are allowed to venture beyond these hallowed gates.

And at the centre of that circus is the Nautilus.

The Gerald Genta-designed darling of every hedge fund manager, crypto bro, and cashed-up punter looking for instant credibility. To me, the Nautilus feels like a flog magnet. It’s a watch you buy when get money and no real idea about watches. It screams new money rather than taste. It’s a supreme status hack tho.

The mighty 5711.

I know plenty of people who wear them, and I know collectors who genuinely love them. But the bulk of Nautilus sightings these days? It’s not about the movement, the case finishing, or the history. It’s about being seen. And don’t get me started on the aftermarket prices. A$170,000 for a steel watch? You got to be crazy.

Maybe my view is coloured by the memory of when I first started DMARGE.

Back then, I remember seeing steel Nautilus models listed for $25,000. Even then, I thought it was madness but the hype wasn’t there. Today? Forget it. But here’s the thing: it was at least possible. If you saved and obsessed enough, you could get one. Like many other Rolex and AP models too.

Fast forward to now, and it’s beyond ridiculous.

The not so might Cubitus.

You can’t just walk into a boutique and buy one. You need a history with the brand, a relationship with an authorised dealer, and often a willingness to buy “supporting” aka shit models you don’t even want.

It’s a brand that’s become a club and if you’re not in it, you’re standing outside, peering through the glass. I don’t need to be in the club (yet). Because there are other brands that offer just as much horological value, if not more, without the yap.

ALS – A worthy alternative?

Vacheron Constantin continues to impress me. Parmigiani Fleurier is doing some of the most exciting design work of the last decade. And A. Lange & Söhne? That’s a brand that can make me emotional in the loins. Their strict no-fuss Germanic precision, their commitment to finishing, the way their pieces feel like heirlooms the second you strap them on that resonates.

I’d even go a step further and say I’d look at an independent before I’d buy a Patek.

Some of the most interesting work right now is coming from the indies: brands like H. Moser & Cie, or even MB&F if I really wanted to push the boat out. They’re not mass-market status symbols they’re conversation pieces that reflect actual taste.

Maybe my indifference toward Patek is a money thing. Consider me poor. Maybe I’m salty that I can’t afford a $170,000 aftermarket Nautilus like some Crazy Rich Asian flexing in his Ferrari on Instagram. But even if I had the spondulix, I’m not sure I’d get one.

Don’t get me wrong. If someone gave me a Patek tomorrow, I’d wear it. Who the hell wouldn’t? They’re beautifully made, they carry insane history, and they’re the kind of object that makes people double-take when they see it on your wrist. You can feel the jealousy.

That all said, I love the Aquanaut Chronograph 5968A

That’s why I’d rather put my money toward a Vacheron Overseas Ultra Thin, a Parmigiani Tonda PF, a Lange Saxonia, or an independent piece with a little eccentricity. These watches still feel like they’re made for collectors, people who care about the mechanics, the history, the quiet flex of it all.

And yet, despite all that nonsense, I’ll admit this much: the Aquanaut Chronograph 5968A is still a fucking cool watch, regardless of who makes it. I would totally swap my first born for one.

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