James Booth

Or: why I will never mock Piccolo drinkers ever again...

"I [have] visited this beach five times now in the last couple of months and seen lots of #greatwhiteshark and #bullsharks around the inlet."

"When Europe closed its doors to Russia and the Middle East they [yacht owners from those destinations] chose Turkey for their yachts."

Blast from the past.

Doors open today.

If nature intended you to shower underneath waterfalls, it would have left conditioner and handrails...

Think you know your sulfites? Think again.

"Who needs a cape when you have a mullet."

"Tell me what you eat, and I'll tell you who you are."

"Singularly devastating."

"I felt comfortable."

Eternal shame...

"It’s located one level above passengers – so no one really knows about it."

All is not lost, however.

A new hope?

"A status match offer launched last week aimed at frequent flyers of other airlines has so far resulted in several thousand high-tier members applying to switch to Qantas’ program."

"What's crazy is that we'd been talking about going 'ecom' for probably 18 months but did nothing, but in eight days literally completed a whole new business."

Welcome to the club.

A few years ago this would have been a dream come true... now it's just a mundane reality.

Siren call.

"Slammers started when I had never flown in business class and felt heavily judged and profiled for how I dressed, acted and behaved."

Granita grumbles.

Careful what you wish for...

The days of "international style services on domestic flights" may be over, experts warn.

Scramble gamble.

"I've been Bained."

The hill I will die on...

Psst...

The 'towel's length' rule is good. But is it enough?

Creepy or reassuring?

"A pure energy boost different to what I, as a coffee drinker for a good ten years, have ever experienced before."

The escape awaits.

2035 beckons...

New era.

"A slice of ocean served chilled."

"If any of the pasta dishes have cream in the sauce… run away!"